Insomnia: The everlasting Gobstopper of freedom

The clock strikes 1:26 a.m. The rain has stopped falling; the thunder fades. Two teenage boys are wide awake, and they aren't in any rush to find a place to rest their heads. The plans running through their minds are too strong. Phones, scones, and randomness all occur within the confines of this night. Let us see what beauty it beholds. Welcome to the World of Insomniactisctisdism. Enter at your own risk.

1:29
The plan begins to unfold. The boys phones connect with clarity. They choose their first victim: Mariah Tappe.

1:33
The call is made. After waiting for the answering machine, they begin. The boys make fun of Mariah for not answering (ever!). They also ramble on about having too much fun and Nate's younger sister.
"Holy bat vomit! You suck more than I do!" -- random sound clip

1:41
The next call, made to a Megan Olson. Yes, she was sleeping. She was told that her lost dog was found, but it started to make sheep noises in the background. What does Megan do in return for this incredible call? She falls asleep on the phone.
"I can make a sheep noise." -- Nate

1:46
Tim Parrott doesn't answer his phone. A message is left letting him know the disappointment the boys feel when he doesn't answer. It is cut short, but still quite entertaining.
"Nate, let me tell you some random facts about Tim...." -- Aaron

1:59
A young Betsy Norell is sleeping and doesn't respond to the ringing of her phone. The boys decide to play the old game MASH and let her know the results. Her future looks very bright. She will be marrying Aaron Bauer, driving a vomit-colored Hummer, live in Austin, and other various aspects of life.
"If any of these things are inconsistent with your hopes, I'm sorry. We can't do anything about that." -- Aaron

2:05
The boys are angry with Ann Monson. She sounded tired as she answered the phone, but she hung up almost instantly. They didn't try again.
"MONSON!" -- Aaron

2:07
The next call was made to Kyree Wobbrock. Yet another answering machine. Random things like beatboxing, black guys, and issues with time and space.
"I open the gate to make phone calls." -- Nate

2:15
The choice is made, and the threat from Janet Youngers to shut off her phone is challenged. Of course, her threat has failed. She answers, and the boys start the timer. Janet has five minutes, and only five minutes, to enjoy the honor of their vocal presence.
"Your five minutes is up." -- Aaron

2:22
Quick break is taken to check the new voicemails. The first is from Kyree, responding to her own message. The second, on the other hand, is Kyree thinking she can leave a second message.
"I gotta work on staying up late for college." -- Kyree

2:28
The remaining list of 12 is decreased to only 5. The next selection happens to be Abby Marshall. She doesn't answer her phone, but the boys decide to make her first insomniac experience memorable by singing to her their rendition of Kanye West's "Gold Digger."
"I'll be Kanye, you be Jamie." -- Aaron

2:37
Her time has come. She has recently become the proud owner of a cell phone, and the boys must utilize this fact. Sadly, Laura Satturland has her phone shut off, hence making the boys leave her a message. A fantastic song was sung to end this phone call, and then the boys called it a night.
"Na na na na. Na na na na. Hey hey hey. Goodbye." -- Giesenbauer Inc.

2:44
This tale of near-epic proportions ends with a mutual goodbye from the two teens. They go their separate ways for the night.
"Peace." -- Nate

The minds of these boys will meet again sooner than some may think in the World of Insomniactisctisdism, and they will once again terrorize the phones of many of their cohorts. When will this be? Only time will tell. Will you be involved? It's just a roll of the dice. Yet if your number exists in the depths of either of the boys' phone books, you can bet that someday you'll be a victim of the randomness. Farewell, goodnight, and sleep well knowing that tonight was a night to be remembered. As will the next.