[insert appropriate title here]

My day was great. It may have started off on the wrong foot when I got a hardcore shot of soap in my eye, thus leading to me wearing glasses so the soap didn't get under my contacts, but all in all the rest of the afternoon/early night was great. That is, until I got home.

As soon as I walk in the door I hear from my mom's boyfriend (the one who threw the cat down the stairs) a sarcastic, "There's the golden child." I was pissed. Completely and utterly offended. More than anything, I felt like I was being judged. The first thought I had was about his own youngest son and what he's done in his life, but I knew right away that wasn't the right thing to be basing my anger on. I said something back, but nothing really crude or anything. I went into the kitchen where my mom and grandma were, and my mom told me to ignore him. I usually do, but he usually makes those comments under his breath so I can't hear them.

And so I sat in the kitchen for a good hour until my mom went to bed. Then I walked to the church to pray. Oddly enough, my bad mood turned into somewhat of a revelation. I decided that I was changing things about my everyday life. That way, I could shove his comment back in his face. Not in a "I really am a golden child" way, because I know I'm not and I never will be. But I mean to do it in more of a "at least I'm doing something with my faith life" way.

My TV is officially unplugged, my Bible by my bed. I'm writing a talk when I have nothing to do in study hall every day. I'm spending my time after school and play practice with God instead of wasting it away like I usually do.

What was this realization? Well, I realized I'm greedy. Not greedy for attention, not greedy for any material possessions. I'm greedy for things to go my way. Greedy for everything to fall into place according to my standards. And so I'm doing my best to give up that greed. I'm working harder on giving up things that feed the greed (yeah, I rhymed) and focusing on living not for myself and my greed, but for God and for the people around me. If someone needs me for something but I have other plans, I'm going to do my best to help them out or at least split my time between the two.

This is starting to make no sense to me because I can't think of how to word anything, so I'm stopping there. I just ask you all to pray for God to help guide my way through this and for Him to help me be able to walk through my house without feeling judged by my mom's boyfriend. Thanks a ton! I love you all!